so my darling 5yr old baby boy, Jaxon, came running into my bedroom yesterday morning as I was getting ready for the day to announce that he had a wiggly tooth! His first loose tooth. He was so excited...and I got a little teary-eyed. And that took me by surprise.
See, I was totally fine registering him for kindergarten, not understanding all the heartache among friends in signing up their youngest for kindergarten. The Hubs and I were talking about it then, and we both decided that life is so much better now and we're having more fun with our kids than ever before that we shouldn't waste the present grieving the past or lament about how fast their growing up. Life is good.
But for some reason this first loose tooth made me a little sad. My baby boy is growing up. >sigh<.
As for the middle school woes, this is something I dread about having my kiddos growing up. My oldest baby boy, Coleo is struggling at school with feeling like kids are picking on him and teasing him. He had a little meltdown this morning on his way out the door.
I have been coming down pretty hard him the past few months, in helping him be more aware of the choices he's making re: all sorts of things. Food choices, how he spends his free time, how he's spends/saves his money, controlling his impulses, all sorts of things. We've got charts posted all over the house for all the kids reminding them what needs to be done and when, in attempts to empower them more and to have me nagging them less. And he still falls short sometimes and I am the first to call him on it. So I am the bad guy right now. He actually told The Hubs that I am just like the teacher at school that he doesn't' get along with. Ouch! I just don't know how else to come along side him and try to teach him the things he needs to know and do to be a confident, self-reliant young man. I do know I have to catch him doing things right more often and praise him more. I know the whole it takes 10 praises to counter every negative. But it's so hard! Why is the nagging seem to be easier?
So this morning I grieved for him after getting him out the door. I feel so sad when he he has these melt-downs and tears up saying he doesn't have any friends. Or that he's being teased or picked on by "everyone". I don't get that at all. He is a funny, witty kid, he's friendly and sociable. We let him do all sorts of fun things, we've offered him the chance to invite kids over from school. But the friendships just don't seem to be happening. He was one of only 4 kids from his elementary school to move to the middle school he attends, and 3 of them were girls. So he started out at a little bit of a disadvantage with no one on his side really, but he was kinda of excited about that actually. He was looking forward to having a new "pond" to swim in and make some new friends.
I have prayed for those friendships...in hopes he'd find those one or two really special ones that he could carry thru to highschool with. He has a couple of really good friends at church, but they all attend different schools. I hate the thought of him being a target, singled out by the supposed "cool kids". I know how vicious middle-schoolers can be. A parents worst nightmare really. Vigilante Momma takes hold and I want to go scope out the rotten ones and let them have a taste of it. He endured some physical harrassment and bullying as a 2nd grader on the bus, initiated by an older boy and it about broke my heart that he tolerated it as long as he did before it "surfaced'.
I hate the thought of him worrying and dreading going to school. It's hard to know when to step in and talk to a teacher. I have encouraged him to talk to his teachers, and even go see the 6th grade counselor if he thinks that would help. He's afraid the kids will pick on him more if he talks. I just don't know what to do - what to say to encourage him, how to help.
This first-born parenting thing is tuff.