Nine years and three months ago today, I carried my itty bitty ten week old, seven pound baby girl into a surgical suite and laid her down on a table so a pediatric heart surgeon at a world renowned medical center could open up her chest and repair the holes in her tiny heart. One of the scariest days of my life.
Ever since then, I get the occasional reminder that I have a child with a congenital heart defect. Someone asks about her scar or I need to fill out a medical form for camp or school or something. But for the most part, it's something that happened very long ago and her mended heart is truly not something I need to worry or think about. Ever. She was fixed. No worries or concerns. We visit her cardiologist at most, once a year. Sometimes even less than that. We get the "all clear - looks good- see ya next year." She is completely asymptomatic and for all intents and purposed, healed.
But there was always something lingering on her doctor's "radar". As a part of her cluster of defects, she has narrowing (stenosis) in her left pulmonary artery. And at our last appointment in March, her doctor dropped the news that now would be the time to address it. Sooner rather than later. The difference in size between her right and left artery is such that it could begin compromising her heart and lung function if left untreated, especially as she grows.
So on Thursday, July 1st, she will undergo an angiogram and catheter procedure to have a stent placed within that artery in hopes of opening it up. There are all sorts of things I truly don't know about any of this and there is some concern that the stent can't be put into place through a catheter. We haven't even met the cardiologist doing the procedure (altho I do volunteer work with her husband and know she is a a follower of Jesus!)
The only thing I know to do is place every ounce of faith my own head and heart can muster in my Heavenly Father to carry us through all the unknowns...
...to bring our sweet Wren in and out of the general anesthesia with little discomfort.
...that His hand will be covering over her doctor and nurses throughout the entire procedure.
...that the stent can in fact be placed through the catheter, it will go where it's supposed to, and stay where it's supposed to.
...that Wren won't be afraid. And her beautiful twin sister, Jewel, will be brave enough for them both.
…that her momma and dad won't be afraid. (we are very afraid)
The hardest part of all of this is moving forward with the renewed awareness that I truly am the momma of a child with a mended heart.